Career . 07/08/2008 01:22 AM . Juan José Sánchez

Let’s review my case. Last semester, I worked in news, writing for a local newspaper in my little third world country of El Salvador. Like every journalist’s, my job consisted of looking for a relevant version of every story. As a consequence of living in such a small country, I always had to talk to the same people (again and again). A contact portfolio fit just fine in my journalistic world. Accordingly, filling every slot in each contact information card became essential.

But a few days ago, I was disturbed by a friend ‘s statement that the last frontier of personal success was all about networking. This theory is based upon the idea that “knowing” people is essential to (serves the purpose of) ensuring our work-lives in the laboring Neverland. You must reinforce your social abilities and expand your “friendships” only because you know you will someday get something from someone – like a job, or some other kind of boost in your career.

This concept came as a shock.

I suddenly saw my friends in my head. I saw their faces and recalled their names. I flashed back to those fun moments we’ve enjoyed, where nothing really mattered. Then I pressed fast forward and found myself in a future not even Jules Verne could have predicted: the one filled with suits, briefcases, PDAs, cellular phones, and the Ally McBeal look on every face—that corporate Disneyland where we have become nothing but numbers.

According to my friend, in this very near future, closeness won’t exist among contacts. Our new way of social living is subdued by the creation of larger and more interesting “friend” structures. A Social Network Theory refers to people as nodes and to relationships as ties. Ties represent ideas, visions, values, interests, etc. Networking, as a tool, has a colder heart. It suggests that we must follow some simple steps to become bootlickers to every person with “opportunity” written on his face.

So, let’s review our new ladder for victory in the cold and impersonal contact world:

A) Select and learn to “know your node.” B) Inspire empathy for your career trajectory. C) Build a foundation for communication with your target.

KNOW YOUR NODE

There are two aspects to consider about our networking construction while we’re learning to know our nodes. First, when we are introduced, we must have a great attitude— like the one you apply when you need your teacher’s approval even though you never liked him. Be nice, enthusiastic, humorous, patient, and interested; hide your real feelings while you can.

Second, you must apply your corporal language. Have you heard that dogs can perceive fear? In the same way, people can become aware of your bootlicking abilities. Be confident. You will become a contact.

INSPIRE EMPATHY

Have you seen Kill Bill Vol. 1? Remember when The Bride went to Hattori Hanzo? She only became her true self (a cold blooded assassin) only after first playing a role of a cute and lonely girl. That is what networking requires. You must become a friendly spirit in the eyes of your prey; deceive them so they will think you are working on an actual, albeit somewhat disinterested, friendship.

Like a chameleon, you must also syncopate your every attribute to those of your node. Whatever your node appreciates, you also appreciate. You must become an accommodating soul mate to all, flexible to the needs of every node you encounter.

ACCRUE THE CRUMBS

Once you have found your new node, make sure to capture his interest until you’ve forged a solid bond. Remember, you aren’t interested in making friends; you only need to gather information for your future. Who does your node know? Where has he worked? What kind of car does he drive? Which parties does he attend?
All of these questions will soon pertain to you. What kind of car should you drive? Where could you work? To which parties should you wrangle an invitation?

Thankfully, answering such questions is now easier than ever before, thanks to our new ally: the Internet. After following our node’s steps – like alley thieves – through his lifestyle, we can sweep the last crumbs of information from the cybernetic playground. Facebook, Myspace, Linked-in… each service can be re-tooled to fit your purposes, expand your node-rings, and generate false feelings of closeness and friendship when only the mechanical bonds of bootlicking truly exist.

After you’ve vacuumed up the last morsels of your node’s personality, you should be able to determine his use to you. Then, you must ask yourself: will this node improve my career? If the answer is no, you must discard the relationship immediately. Those attempting to vault up the career ladder can’t afford to mingle with mere climbers.

If you determine that he will be of use, your only job becomes maintaining a modicum of friendship – and, of course, gaining access to his nodes in the process.
When this plan is followed, you will soon find your life filled with useful nodes who can aid you on your path to success.

You may not know who you real friends are, but really, who needs friends when you’ve got leads?

Juan José Sánchez is a freelance journalist from El Salvador. He isn’t just a node.


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